Drugs

Daily caller publishes good news, internet perplexed ➔

In case I’m not the only one suspicious, it’s worth noting that highlights of the article include a story about a family being charged for growing personal medical marijuana:

The Harveys mistakenly thought that because they were obeying state law they wouldn’t be prosecuted on a federal level. Judge Van Sickle has barred them from testifying that they were growing it for medical purposes, saying that doing so would “tempt the jury to disregard federal law” and that explaining the situation “would be confusing to jurors.”

Fun in the Kitchen: Trip While You Bake

Do you ever have those days when you can’t score a tab of acid, but desperately want to peel your face off in the mirror? Have no fear! There is a solution that befits your fiendish stature! Let me begin by telling you a story. I was in Paris last summer, hanging out with a couple of shady figures I had met that day, jonesing for an altered state, when I remembered an interesting little passage out of The Anarchist’s Cookbook under the section about hallucinogens. It explained the use of nutmeg, yes nutmeg, by Native Americans in their religious ceremonies.
 

Fun With Dairy Products

I woke up, hung over, around 1 p.m. on a Saturday morning, experiencing an acute case of nicotine withdrawal. But when I reached over for my Reds, the memory of smoking that magical last cigarette the night before came rushing back. So there I was, short on smokes, but, of course, long on bud. So I figured: Wake and Bake! Why not? After all it was the weekend, not as if it would have ultimately made much of a difference.
 

Kitty, This Bud's for You

I’ve recently become convinced that the best thing to have around when you’re baked is an animal. I just got a cat, and being that I’m the Dormouse, we have an interesting relationship. Anyway, I was lit the other night when my cat started to chase me around the house (I think that the cat was also baked). I was being terrorized by my feline. It was then that I found the nutmeg-flavored cat treats and subdued the creature.

High on the Highway

A few mornings ago, I woke up feeling like a rabid moose. It had been a rough, chemical-filled night, to say the least. But with several cups of coffee, I was ready to open up the Daily. And what was I greeted with but the wonderful news that someone had the presence of mind to cultivate a plant of cannabis savita in the moat of Berkeley. I was struck by the fact that this particular specimen was tall enough to ride most roller coasters. 
 

Scrub the Bong Slowly

Who was Len Bias? Right now, the only Yalies likely to correctly identify Bias are basketball fans with knowledge of NBA Draft history. (In case you don’t fit into this category, Len Bias was a basketball star at the University of Maryland who was drafted by the NBA’s Boston Celtics in 1986.) In the future, however, Bias may be best known as the person whose death by cocaine overdose led to the escalation of the War on Drugs, with severe consequences. 
 

The War on Drugs:This Time, it's Personal

Who was Len Bias? Right now, the only Yalies likely to correctly identify Bias are basketball fans with knowledge of NBA Draft history. (In case you don’t fit into this category, Len Bias was a basketball star at the University of Maryland who was drafted by the NBA’s Boston Celtics in 1986.) In the future, however, Bias may be best known as the person whose death by cocaine overdose led to the escalation of the War on Drugs, with severe consequences. 
 

Carpe Doobie

Sometimes I just get too baked to write this stuff. My motor skills occasionally lack the precision required for typing up an article. This line just took three minutes to write. [Ed: It took even longer to correct all the typos.] But hey, no worries! It’s Saturday morning, the seventh day of Spring, I’m baked, and I have all the time in the world to write this article. [Ed: Deadline was the previous Monday.]
 
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